R.A.W.R

Herro there.
Long time no chat. :P
Jk.
I guess it isn't as bad as i though.
I mean...when we both go back to school,
It's be best if we both concentrated on that.
And, he needs to experience college.
'I'll always be in the back of his mind'
And no, i don't feel like telling whats up yet with this. :P

CJ...i enjoy you. I'm really sad about Erie too, but i think
Your new step forward is good. :) And, i don't think it's bad.
JSYK. obviously. He's cool.

I'm in a jolly mood. idk why.
I helped out at my grandpas yesterday..
And after a while, my cousin and i started wondering around.
He has 3 Impalas (cars)
A model A AND a model T
A convertible with nice seats.
A tow truck.
A nice old car that doesn't say what it is.
2 Trucks.
And countless tractors.
And a motercycle with a side car.
I...never knew he had this many.
He's not a hoarder.
Everything has a story.
My mom remembers driving one of them.
...
...
...
That same grandpa will be gone in a year.
He has cancer..
They gave him a 4 or 5 years,
4 or 5 years ago.
It's melanoma or whatever.
Meaning it spreads.
He use to tell stories about everything.
Now, all he talks about is being alone
And dying.
He knows everything.
He has everything.
He won't talk anymore.
Except about his death and missing grandma.
Who died when i was in 4th grade.

I don't know why i'm writing all of this.

I want to go up sometime to my grandpas and have him
Tell me all about his cars.
I...just don't know what to do when he talks about his death.
He said yesterday he wished he didn't know he had it.
He wants to die like grandma.
Our cousins just got back from Arizona, and the whole family
Was at grandmas and grandpas.
The next morning, my grandma got up.
Went into the bathroom where grandpas was shaving.
Then she went back to lie down on the bed.
Just a usual morning.
My cousins from AZ were staying at my grandparents house.
My uncle is a paramedic.
Later, my grandpa finnished shaving, and went into the bedroom.
Grandmas was dead.
I was in 4th grade.
My uncle couldn't do anything.
She died after seeing all her family.
Peacefully.
Cause of death is unknown.
Grandpa wants to go like that.
Quick without warning.
He doesn't want to end up needing help.
He doesn't want to lose his mind.
He can only talk of death.
I want to change this.
If he goes, our family, which is fueding currently,
Would be destroyed.
It would be a fight for possessions.
Nobody thinks my uncles deserves teh gas station.
But he slaved his life away down there, for grandpa.
Only because my grandma asked him too.
My aunt could get written out of the will
Because she's dating an Indian.
And Grandpas racist.
It was a different time.
Things are tearing us apart.
We should be ashamed of ourself.
Stupid, silly Westendorfs.
Grandma would never have allowed this.