I Hate Cancer.

I'm going to be honest and say i don't know
What exactly to write.
I'm still trying to come to terms myself.

When i was in seventh grade,
They gave me grandpa 3 years to live.
He outlived it and has been
Living life to the fullest.
He has some cancerous growths, but
They were able to be removed.
This weekend he couldn't swollow.
He hasn't eaten in a week.
Now, he can't talk.
We hoped this was a side affect of
Radiation and hoped it would pass.
Today, i found out he has cancer
On his lungs, esophogus, and tounge.
The one thing, the ONE thing
My grandpa needs to survive,
Is his abbility to talk.
He knows more than anyone i've ever met.
He is amazingly smart.
He knows everyone in town and their stories.
And now, i have to come to terms with the fact
That before summer is over,
I will no longer have a grandpa.
Sorry if i don't want to hang out this summer.
Sorry if i cry.
Sorry if i call just to cry.
Some days i'll need people,
Some days i won't.

My father runs a funeral home.
I wasn't afraid of death.
Until today.
When all my other grandparents died,
I didn't understand.
I was 4rd grade and below.
Now, i understand death and love.
I love my grandpa, but he is going to die.
Life is cruel.
The ONE thing he wanted to keep he couldn't.
I'm afraid my family won't get together anymore now.
He is what is holding us together.
I'm scared.
And i cry when i drive past his house.
Which is everyday.
The only thing that makes it ok is soon,
He will be with the wife he never stoped loving.
The wife he never yelled at.
They were the perfect couple.
My grandma was taken from me when i was in 4th grade.
Death is hard.
So is life.
Again, sorry if i'm down this summer.
My mom told me to not stop living my life for him,
But it is a harsh reality.
I just hope he does not suffer.
He is too great of a man for that.
I love him. So so much..