The glass is half full.

Yesterday, a bomb was dropped on me.
They were putting my grandpa in hospice,
And the hospice gave him 6 months.
The doctor, said we might have a few weeks.
My aunt, a nurse, said we'd be lucky for 3 weeks.
I haven't seen him since last week.
At least all of my family lives in iowa.
They almost all live in Waverly,
And everyone is here to see him.
It's going to get rough.
He has fast-growing cancer in his lungs.
Soon, he might not be able to breathe.
I just hope he can soon rejoin the love of his life.
I hope he goes like my grandma..
One morning when i was in 4th grade, i was walking
Down the stairs to get breakfast.
Sunny morning, spring time. The week of mothers day.
I heard my mom talking on the phone,
So i sat on the landing and listened.
My grandma had passed away.
I didn't go to school that day.
But, it is an amazing story.
My grandpa was in the bathroom getting ready for the day.
My grandma went in to get a glass of water and went back
To bed to lay down for a while.
When my grandpa came into the bedroom,
He noticed she wasn't breathing.
That was it.
It was ruled as 'natural causes', but that didn't
Rule out a heart attack.
We in the family know that was probably what it was.
It brought the family together.
The night before we had all been at the house because
My cousins were back from arizona, and were staying
With my grandparents.
Ironically, my uncle was a paramedic.
My grandpa called him downstairs,
But my grandma was already gone.
I just hope my grandpa does not suffer.
I want to see him, but i hope he does
Not suffer, my only wish.



As far as thing totally unrelated..
MIA=missing in action, i didn't know where you were!
And i felt motherly becuase they are rambunctious friends.
I wanted you to be there, you're one of my closest friends!
I was very happy you came, don't worry.
Also. Hello :)

Strange Dream.

I have gotten very little sleep today so,
After eating breakfast with my dad today,
I took a small nap.
I dreamed something strange...
It was horrible!

I dreamed it was back to my birthday, and i was having two parties. One of friday night, and one on saturday night. The Friday night party had been filled with a little over ten or fifteen close friends, cake was had, it was a good time.
My dream was about the saturday night party. It was cloudy out, and none of my friends were there yet. Cassie and Sarah were out of town. Sarah was at camp...Cassie was MIA haha. well, a dark green van arrived, and, though it had just rained, it drove crazily through my backyard and parked behind the blue shed. I thought it looked a lot like a kid's van i knew in band, but i wasn't really close to him. Then, a LOT of people i didn't know/like very well got out of the van. Wrestlers and preps. and they just started congregating and sitting and talking on my yard! I didn't invite any of them! Nobody i even invited was there yet! My mom wasn't understanding that i didn't want these people here and that this was a disaster! I ran inside the house and started cry, so my mom asked why i was crying? I told her i just needed to call me friend. I called sarah when i was upstairs alone, but after i told her what was going on she didn't answer so i figured she was just busy. I stoped crying and went downstairs, only to find my mom still not understanding why i didn't want people i didn't invite at my party! There were close to fourty poeple, that was a lot! Well a kid who looked like a short wrester i hate (but wasn't him because the 'real' him was on my lawn talking to friends) started talking to me, he was really nice and i felt bad for judging him because he was a wrestler. He carried me over to the group of popular people and my mom was saying 'you should take this opotunity to get to know these people!' and i did NOT want to. Then i saw a few people that i had actaully invited, so it wasn't as bad. I just kept having fits everywhere and crying because i didn't invite these people and i didn't even like them! Then, my mom called everyone inside our garage for ice cream cake. There were so many people, there wasn't going to be enough cake! I didn't invite these people! I was the last person to wander into the garage, i saw someone i INVITED and asked them how my make up was. They said it was ok. I took a chair in the back, expecting my mom to call me up to blow out the candles. Most people here hadn't even said HELLO to me, (maybe even EVER in the lives!) none-the-less happy birthday to me! Well, my mom didn't call me up. Candles were lit, and some other person standing up there next to the cake blew out my candles! I guess my mom figured that i didn't want to be at the party anymore. As they all joined in singing 'Happy Birthday' (To whom, may i ask?!?!?) i ran out of the garage, screaming in anger and frustration and crying very hard. I heard a girl say 'spoiled brat', and i went back in and wrongfully accused a nice girl who just graduated, but was kinda preppy, of saying it. "I didn't even invite you, ok? and you're calling me spoiled? This is suppose to be my party!" I was so mad! I ran out of the garage and across my front lawn and into the orchird as fast as i could. I ran to the corner and his in the weeds. I could hear them singing still. I opened my phone, and pressed the the 4 on my phone (speed dial for CJ, correct in realy life too!)
This is where i woke up, confused and worried that i had just cried in my dream (not in real life) for the past house basically.
What does this all mean, anyway?
I just feel so angsty after this dream...

Senior?

I cannot believe i'm about to have my senior pictures taken!
Granted, under normal circumstances, i wouldn't do it so early.
But, since my lovely photographer is going to DC soon,
I thought it best to do it now. So excited! :)

My grandpa has to ok to eat food again! :)

Where did summer go? It's almost July already!

Boys are silly but i don't care.

I hope Spain is amazing...see you all soon!

I still think this is a pretty good summer.

It's a BEAutiful day out, enjoy it! <3

ANdrew(Y)

Andrew

The only reason i have not actually told you off for still being in my life is because my coaches consider you a son and once told me i handled the break up in a very professional manner. It'd be nice if you stopped trying to hang out with me though. I have been 'busy' for over 5 weeks....get the hint. I guess you really are as stupid as people said. Sometimes i can't believe i dated you.

Drew

Everyone says you like me. But i see you as a brother and a friend. Everyone says i should date you, but that would be weird. Like, really weird. Not to mention i love your now ex, i just couldn't do it. Not now at least. I thought we were good friends? Why Y U NO let it be like that?

Andy

At the begining of May my friend said i would be cute with you. You texted me out of nowhere one night, and i was so excited. I really liked you! That trailed off and i began to lose hope.... Then, the other night, you texted me again! And you have texted me for quite a few nights now! And everyone says you are a jerk, and everyone says you're a tool, but as a teenager, i have a right to make (more) stupid relationship decisions. I like him, he makes me SO happy when he texts me, and if this has any sort of a future, it'd make me so excited.

I know you don't like him a whole lot..and if it came down to it, friends are more important to me. I already almsot lost all my friends because of my last relationship. But i just wanna have fun this summer...That's all.

Wishes..

I wish i could tell you how i feel.

I wish you knew how i felt about you.

I wish things would just work out.

I wish i was stronger.

I say this for more than one person..

17.

I turned 17 at 1:19 in the afternoon.
I spent the day walking around town with some people.
It was quiet and nice.
I am very excited for this weekend.
This looks to be a good, good summer. :)
I don't quite know what else to say.
I still like him but i know i shoudn't..
And it sucks.
But, life looks good right now,
So i'm trying to stay positive! :)