Also.

I realized something the other day.
I have never gotten 1st place for anything in my life.



Just let that sink in.
It hurts.
I'm always sub par to everyone.
I hate it.
I wish i was smarter.
Or just smart enough.
Or talented at SOMETHING.
But i'm not.
I never have been the best.
I haven't even been good enough.
I just find it strange.
Maybe someday, thought, i'll win something.