And i want you to know.

When you go to bed worrying over something,
And then you wake up and it hits you again,
It seems worse, it seems really bad.
I'm not sitting in my house freaking out.
I'm being me.
Today, i listend to over two hours of DUBSTEP
Online, and i don't care if it makes me a hipster/poser.
I love it. ^.^
I'll have to man up and tell drew, but that's life.
I'm not running away to college, either.
It just seems new and exciting.
New people.
Not the same since kindergarten! :)
And for everyone in/heading to college,
You'll do great.
I'll still be here being your friend in Wave town you can
Come back and see whenever. :) :) :) :)
Life is good.
Things happen, but i shouldn't dwell on them.
I have so much going for me right now,
I should stop being a whinny teenager. ;)
I really hope everyone is having a good day!
It is beautiful outside. Enjoy it. <3

Not okay..

Last night i had a great time marching and then i went to the dance and it was AMAZING. Probably the best dance i have ever been to even though i was only there for 1.5 hours. :P
But then everyone left and someoen drove me around to the back of the school where my car was and drew was back there and then it was just drew and i.
and i had said earlier that i didnt want to go home and my curfew wasn't for a while.
so we ended up sitting in the back of his truck listening to music. but we were sitting with our legs stretched out and all of a sudden his foot touched mine. not like in beat to the music just once out of nowhere.
so i waited a minute then pulled my feet away so it didn't look connected.
then i looked down and i saw his hand was all limp next to me like he wanted to hold hands. so i said i had to go and baiscally left. then i took a longer way home cuz i was trying to avoid him but then i saw his car parked by the cemetary which is past his house on the way home as if he was checking i was going home.
He's going to mess everything up. He is just a good friend and thinking of dating him makes me want to vomit. i felt so sick when i saw his hand last night.
I've tried to avoid hanging out with him, but we have the same wartburg periods off so it is really really hard when he is looking to hang out everyday during the time and i can't say i want to be alone in the auditorium.
I wish he knew he was fucking everything up. Now we won't just be friends. Maybe i'll just get a new set of friends, away from the 'guys'.
I mean, things like this make me WANT to leave for college so i can have a fresh start. Y U NO understand i just want to be friends! STOP CARING. STOP ASKING IF I'M ALRIGHT EVERY FIVE SECONDS. I'M ONLY NOT ALRIGHT CUZ YOU'RE MESSING EVERYTHING UP!

And maybe, it's me. It happened with Alex where i got close to him and then didn't want to date him. Maybe after Andrew i can't date/trust for a while.
Or maybe the people just aren't right for me.
All i know is the year is going to suck.
I'm going to have to tell him.
I don't know how it will go.
But i do know this sucks.
He is too much of a friend and brother to ever date.
Plus he is awkward. It's ok when we're friends but i don't want to date an awkward person. It would make this terrible situation worse.
I think i'm done talking now.
I'm going to just do nothing this weekend, hopefully.
Because this sucks. :/

:)

I recently aquired some mosquito bites,
I guess i think they were from a mosquito...
Anyway, and they got infected.
I'd just like to throw it out there that
I didn't itch them a lot.
But they got infected and big and red
TWO DAYS before school started.
So, the first day i wore knee high socks.
But then yesterday and today i wore nylons.
It reduced the redness levels
(They were big and red and sometimes purple.?)
And it kinda made me look tan, too.
And i know my mom didn't say it on purpose
And it wasn't suppose to mean anything,
But my grandma Grace use to wear nylons everyday.
Whether she was wearing pants, shorts, or a dress.
And, she was an amazing woman, and i miss her.
And, being compared to her made me happy.
:)

Hm.

We moved Kim into college yesterday.
Today was my first day as a Senior.
Maybe, just maybe, i'm ready to leave this town.
My life feels sorta empty without this one graduated girl now.
And i have my two best friends to keep me going.
You two are great.
And i have some pretty cool newer friends,
But my once bff?
I'm not sure.
Maybe i just have early senioritis.
Maybe i was moody today.
It doesn't matter because in a year,
I'll be making some new friends. :)

I can't wait.

I can't wait until you leave.
You're bugging the crap out of me.
It isn't your fault, we're teens.
But it will help our relationship
If you went back to Pella.
What? Oh, yes. Tomrrow sounds lovely.

Haha i'll miss her, i will.
But right now we're fighting a lot.
I can't believe my sister is a sophomore in college.
It's crazy how time flies..

It's my last free day of summer.
I move her in tomorrow,
Then i'm a senior.
*YIKES*
I'm a little scared,
But very excited. :)

The more i think about it.

So, it's been a long time.
Church camp was amazing,
It was so sad it was the last year.
I loved seeing all my friends and
Meeting amazing new friends, too.
And that was good.
I've been meaning to wirte about it,
But now i have no ambition to do so.
I find i don't really like blogging anymore.
Maybe that's because i don't know what to write.
Well anyway,
I hope everyone is doing good. :)
Summer is almost over, but i mean being a senior
Should be a good time.
I'm sure of it. ^.^