100th post. (i think)

Moods of the past 24 hours,
-Do i even like him anymore?
-This is crazy.
-What was the deer doing?
-Yes, i do love him.
-This was an awesome day.
-How did things change in 1 minute? Did i miss something here???
-Did we just have a fight? WHAT HAPPEEND?..
-Is he still in love with me?
-Am i being a mega-betch?
-This movie relates to my life! I have to fight, and fight i will because i now know that i cannot live without him.
-Will he pick up the phone?
-Did john really call or did he just not wanna see me?
-SARAH PICK UP YOUR FREAKIN PHONE.
-It was nice seeing CJ.
-Can i get a break, emotions? I don't wanna be weird anymore! Let me be normal!
-WHERE IS BRIANNE?!?!?!?! i need to confer with you about this! :(
-Can someone be too in love with you and vice versa?
-Would i really do that?
-Why did i say that?
-Is that our whole issue? Do i seem superficial?
-If i did that stuff would things be alright?
-Am i selling myself short?
-Am i too inlove with him?
-I hate it when you only shed two tears, because you know you have a dam to let out but someone fixed your leak. i needed to cry. Shedding two tears is that worst possible outcome. Now i'm so scared a tree frog pissed me off.
-I have tree frogs.
-WHAT DID I JUST TOUCH?!??!?
-Why is there a tree frog on the floor?
-WHY IS IT JUMPING ACROSS THE ROOM!
-WHY ISN'T MY MOM PICKING UP?!?!!?
-Don't judge me for freaking out. about a frog.
-DID IT JUST PEE ON KIMS NEW FRIDGE?!?!?! shhhhhhh
-GET OUT OF THE BUCKET STUPID FROG!
-Shall i hack her computer to type all of this?
-Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is an AMAZING movie.
-Can we forget this? That isn't how i really feel, i just said it for no reason.
-Can we talk? of course not.

Lastly,
-Who is he? :P

Incase you didn't know, those were in order. pretty much. sorry for use of names. i don't care right now, andi just had to get this into words. boy, i need help. last year i didn't want him to go. this year idk. is it because he said we might have to take a break so he can experience life and college though we'd still talk and hang? and not look for others but not be pressured? naw, i think it's because it's not that i want him to go, i just forget how close school is and how we made it last year. if i'm gonna be a betch though then he won't want me. tonight i realized i need him. i don't want him to go, but for some reason i can't show it. i swear to god i don't wanna change. come back, life from a few months ago. i miss you. even 1 month ago. Why can't i show my love anymore? I think he really loves me now but i'm shutting down like a train wreck. i need answers. i need him. i need friends. i've always been able to live without friends, not a neccessity like my sister, i could go without, just prefered with. but now i need them. now i can't go without. i need to attention. i need to contact and conversation. i'm changing and i don't like it. what's wrong with me? am i gonna become some bitch now? i don't want that. just a few weeks ago i KNEW that if i ended up with him in a few years and 2 rings later, i'd be happy. now, i'm pissing him and myself off. G-R-E-A-T. NOT. i neeed something. But you can't help. this is...so...confusing i don't want this. now i'm rambling. just like nathaniel would. i don't even want him anymore. I truly do love andrew. heart and sole. so that the FUCK am i going to do about it? i dream about being the best, then i turn from medeocrity to SUCKY. :( i'm crushedhurtfuckedupandinpainwhilebeingpissedoff. greaaat. goodnight. i hope i can get that cry out tonight. then be the great girlfriend he deserves.