No Time.

So.

There is never any time for anything lately.

With musical i'm so busy.

I never have time for

Friends

Boyfriend

TV

Computer

Sometimes food

Sometimes homework

Life

Love

Laughter.

It's sad.

I miss it all...

But...while musical is fun,

I'll be glad when it is over.

And life goes back to 'normal'.

What's normal of you not being here?

Oh well...

[[ps: happy 6 months joe and liz! <3 <3

Life in 10 Years?

Last week, after you left my house

I decided that since you were always complaining

About how nobody sends you letters,

That i would write you everynight

And send them all at the end of the week.

So far, so good.

Tonight will be a week.

Sunday to Sunday.

And...you still don't know.

I was happy Thursday night

And Friday....

You came home this weekend.

You coach told you to rest.

I Love seeing you.

And...i realized something.

If i marry you 10 years down the road...

I'll be really happy.

It sounds strange

And very far off,

But you make me so happy.

You complete me.

I love you.

You love me.

If i never date anyone

Else, I will be happy
And, it does sound really crazy,
And I probably sound really
Obsessive and dumb and love struck.
But I've thought about this, and it's true.
And, if you were to break up with me…
I would be horrified, and really sad.

Because right now,

I don't know if i could every break up with you.

I love you so much.

It's really true.

And...if you broke up with me,

I would just get mad and get over it,

Hopefully.

And if i break up with you,

Which i don't think i can ever do,

It would be for a good reason.

But, if i start a family with you,

I'll be happy.

And i do sound strange,

But people long ago got married

At my age, so whats wrong?

But for now, the wind is cold and bitter.

Yet, the sunshine is warm,

So i'll just keep loving you...<3

Fine.

So.

Life was good.

You were home wed.

And i saw you thursday.

And i saw you friday.

And today i had to march

Until three.

And you had to work

Until five.

So i came home at four

And i fell asleep.

You called around five thirty.

You boss wanted you to go to

MASON CITY to bowl tonight.

*silence*

And you're going to your dads tomorrow.

And you dad is fun but i don't have to go.

And...i just was ready for some time with

Him, but i guess tomorrow night will be it.

So jeeze.

And during our phone convo,

Wranwrap called.

At the end of the phone convo,

I was starting to cry.

You asked if it was fine that you were going.

I told you it was your life.

And you were all blah blah blah just

Never mind. grr.

I mean...i want to see you

So Bad!

But...i called wranwrap back

And she wondered if i wanted to go to

Front Yard Fright tonight with her.

I swear, if not for her i would fall apart.

And today was fun,

I got to hang out with

CJ a lot. :)

Even if it WAS cold...

But seriously?

He's made me cry so much.

And he doesn't know about

Any of that. really?

Can Has Luff?

To Quote Spongebob, sadly,

"I'm Ready."

I know i said i was

'Over her'

And that i was ready to

Stop being afraid.

I am now.

I promise.

If she make fun of me,

I'm punch her in the face.

Because i'm not going to

Run away anymore.

If she's going to hate me,

It IS her problem

Eff this. I'm tired of running.

I'm tired of fast heartbeats.

I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of worrying about my friends.

I'm tired of being afraid.

All because of her.

I'm so happy right now.

I love my new best friend.

Saddly, i've had the same friends

Since elementary school.

One since i was born.

And this winter, she ditched me.

In Disney Land.

Happiest place on earth?

I think not.

Now we're still friends but...

Not as close.

And another friend...

Has become strange.

Then i had my Bff since 3rd n 4th grade,

And those other "Friends".

This new girl,

We all thought she was strange.

She thought we were crazy awesome.

Turns out:

She's effing the missing piece

To our puzzle.

I feel like i am the closest to her though.

Not to brag but...when at her bday party

Nobody else had been to her house.

And...the feeling i got was great.

She. Is. Crazy-awesome.

She needs to come to our school.

She. Will change our lives for the better.

And we will keep her happy.

Changing her forever more.

She's so sad and lonely and amazing.

We must love her forever.

And we will.

She is one of the most amazing

People i have ever met.

Even if she looks like a gecko ( :P )

And then, him.

He's coming home this weekend.

Fall break starts Wed.

Last night, i talked to him.

He said he's ready to come home.

He still jokes with me like always.

I feel nothing has really changed.

We are still so strong.

I am still so in love.

Even if listening to

Death Cab for Cutie

Again makes me think of

Nathaniel, nothing compares.

My most recent Ex and i had a fight.

Our first, sort of,

A little while ago.

We're still great friends, thankfully.

And i do like your new gf.

Just, remember your old friends, too. :P

And...all my senior friends.

Who i've watched grow with my sister...

I will be sad when you leave.

I love you all. <3

And...Life. i cry these days out of

Happiness.

Not of saddness.

Fear,

Or lonliness.

Pure, Joy, and...Love. :D

Hahaha.

You'rerightitisfunbutkindaweirdbutnotashardasyoumadeitseemlol:Pyou'reagoodfriendandyesireadallofthatsololimmacrazystalkerlolSORRY.:Pi'mgladwe'restillfriendsthoughbecauseyou'rerealimportanttomeandmeanalottomeevenifwehaven'tbeenfriendslolyou'reamazingandiloveyouCJ!
and....you. :P
imma soo glad
We're friends again.
BTW.
and...this blog/facebook war
The 3 of us had was weird and
I'm sorry. again.
So...life is good otherwise.
He might be coming home
This tuesday
Questionmark?
Lol, well ttyl all.
I'm off to do Homework!

I'm Sorry.

SO.

I thought last night.

You don't deserve the silent

Treatment.

You are a good friend...

Yes you're friends with her but...

Most of my friends are saddly.

I mean...the one i love is still.

And....i can't stay mad at you.

You're effing you!

I'm sorry my friends made rude remarks.

I'm sorry i made rude remarks.

You like her.

It's ok.

She's nice.

I want to be friend with her, too.

I'm sorry.

Forgive me?

We may not be AS close but...

You are still you and i can't NOT like you.

I have a lot of those people.

Others don't like them but i do and

Me being so nice costs me a lot.

I'm sorry.

It's your fault.

And yet, it isn't.

I'll still be here, sadly,

When she hurts you.

Will you still be my

Friend?

And as for my friend, the lonesome one,

I too, may be messed up.

I told you it was ok to hate him.

And now i change my mind.

I'm sorry.

He's...friggen him.

And i'm...

Me.

Life is Not Swell

So.

Today was...

Painful.

Interesting.

Annoying.

Crushing.

Aggravating.

Saddening.

Maddening.

And a lot more

Under those subjects.

YEAH.

And...

Wow.

My friends...

YEAH.

One, they are great.

Two, they are depressive.

Three, they are annoying.

All of those sometimes.

But...when they hurt me...

Well let me start like this.

HER. _ _ _ _ _.

YEAH.

Her again.

Another of my friends

Became friends with her.

Seemingly FLAUNTING

Their friendship to me.

"Look at this that your BEST FRIEND did!"

What hurts?

This:

"Well, if i can't talk to you,

I may as well talk to your enemy!"

Ouch.

Eff this.

The last friend that chose her...

Almost dropped out of school

When she pissed him off.

Why does everyone like her so?

It's not my fault i'm not her!

But sometimes...

Seeing her makes me want to

Kill myself.

I mean,

If everyone,

And i mean EVERYONE

Likes her more,

Then i don't matter.

Suicide isn't the answer,

And i know it.

But, she hurts me so much.

I love Him.

And the new _ _ _ _ _ friend

Is a good man.

But, don't be suprised if i don't

Talk to you anymore.

If i ignore you,

Like i ignore her.

It's nothing personal.

Ok, it is.

If you want to play this way...

I mean, at least don't

Talk to ME about HER!

Just let me be,

Or there won't be a ME

To mess with anymore.