Bowling.

Yesterday we had a meet a Maple Lanes.
I had to leave the Winterfest assembly early,
But that was ok.
We did SO GOOD!
I got a 180 my first game, and for the first time
EVER i got all three strikes in the tenth frame.
My second game i got a 189!
Everyone was doing good, it was an easy shot.
WE EVEN BEAT THE OTHER TEAMS BOYSSS.!
Baker was AMAZING for once.
I felt so included.
I love my team.
It was an amazing night.
When i got back to waverly, i went to
A show Addison's band was doing.
Then i had some delicious pie!
And then..my parents took me out to eat too!
I went home, stuffed, and went to bed.

This morning, we had another meet.
Didn't do so hot, but still only lost by
Less than 100 pins.
We had team breakfast down at the ally, it was nice.
I love the freshman on the team, we make bets.
I told her once if she picked up a REALLY hard
Spare, i'd buy her bowling pants that FIT.
She didn't get it, but today jokingly i said i'd
Buy her underwear if she picked up an easier one.
She did.
Later on, she told me SHE'D buy me underwhere if i
Made the strike.
I did.
We're going underwear shopping now. xP
I'm excited.
I usually HATE underwear sections, but oh well!

Hopefully Monday i'll be able to go to a pancake party!
Bethbeth and i are planning. ^.^
If my car isn't dead.
Yeah, the ghetto car is dying... :'(

Btw? I didn't 'freak out'.
Just didn't understand why you couldn't tell me
You had plans with Sarah.
I couldn't go to the hypnotists anyway.
I had to be up early today..
Now i'm just chillin.
Waiting for the waltz.
Which should be a lot of fun.
If i like people.
Lately, i have HATED having social interactions.
NOT how it should be.
People piss me off fer no reason.
Whatever though.
I'm just going to dance and NOT care.
BECAUSE: My horoscope is:
Today might be one of the most fortunate days of your life, Gemini. Everything you've been striving for - romance, money, creative fulfillment - could fall into place at various times today. Expect exciting calls bringing good news. A lover could offer congratulations. The only downside is that all the stimulation could leave you exhausted. Never mind. You will sleep well!

So stick that in your juice box. ;)

Also...Pg-13 stuff xP

I'm just going to say it.
I don't see why sex is so big of a deal
When you're in high school.
I don't think of people differently if
They're had it a lot, a little, want it or not.
I just don't know why it's so big of a deal.
We're still so young we dont' even know what
We really want to do with our lives.
(Btw this is not some religous do good thing...
This is me and what i honestly think...)
It comes up a LOT in conversations, doesn't it?
Everyone talks about it.
Nearly everyone does it it seeems like.
I feel rather informed on the matter.
TV has taught me nothing.
It's not blissful and sweet.
It's apparently going to be painful (at first....)
And sweaty and awkward.
If i ever decide i ever want to have sex,
That person will be WAY more experience than i most likely.
Which will be weird.
It'll be me and my first time, but they'll know what to do.
And i'll be clueless.
It feels like if i DON'T start having sex in high school,
I'll be behind everyone else when i reach the
'Real World'.
Thankfully, my 'father' told me i'll die if i ever have sex.
Hahaha, but honestly i think i actaully would.
Even 'talking' about it, makes me almost cry.
From thinking of pain, and awkwardness.
It's very weird.
At one point, i wanted that boy, Nathaniel
SO BAD, i said i'd do 'anything' to have him.
I probably couldn't have done that.
As a freshman, especially.

So why did i just write a blog post on sex?
Because it's there.
Don't pretend you don't know it's not.
Everyone hears about who effed who at school.
Everyone hears who's a 'whore'.
Everyone knows someone who's done it.
Everyone knows someone who wants to.
Everyone knows it's right in front of our eyes.

I just...feel left out.
Not that i'd do it just to be included.
I want to wait until marriage.
Or at LEAST a solid engagement.
Because then i won't be drunk and tired
On my wedding night. :P
But. This is how i feel..

Yesterday..

We filmed from TV from 3-6ish,
Then we went out for supper at Subcity.
It was a lot of fun.
I haven't been with a lot of people
Like that in a long time.
I've never hung out with nd before, either.
After supper i was feeling a litte down,
But i got over it.
Everyone is just so nice.
It's just the nicest group of people ever.
Even if one would be burned alive in a church....?
Haha.
After, we wentto duos, and invited someone not in tv
Because he needed a friend.
I just. It's been so long since i've been with people like that.
I had a lot of fun yesterday.
I'm really glad everyone went to duos, because i didn't
Want the day of fun to end.
Since we're done filming now, i'm afraid we'll be done having
Lots and lots of fun, too.
So i was gone yesterday, from 1-3 to see my grandma.
I learned she met some famouse actors, and then
We traced my family back to the revolutionary war!
I'm a proud Daughter of the American Revolution now. ^.^
From 3 to basically 10:20 i was with tv people.
Social interactions?
Yes please. :)
I'm starting to WANT to see people again.
I don't want to be trapped in my room alone anymore.
And btw? It doesn't matter about prom.
I'm going, but idk who with, and it's not going to matter much.
I just want to go. that's all.
Even if it's months away, people are talking alread. :P
And btw, i'm super happy about you and DN.
I'd love to re-meet him now though... ;)
And btw...i'm just really happy right now.
I get to see my best friend today.
And even though kim just left, it feels like it won't be for long.
And the waltz is comming up.
And....I really, really like having social interactions.
People...make me happy.
So, thanks for everything yesterday, KLOL Channel 4 News. :)

Quickly.

I would probably not acutally go with ms.
I would really rather take you.
You know i won't have a date.
And as much as i want you to,
I want you at Waverly, youre my best friend.
I'll take you to prom.
Because i really care about you.
And i want to start having fun with you again. :)
Have a good day today everyone!
Ps. i've dreamed everynight since xmas break.
They're getting more powerful.
I can feel PAIN in them, that lasts the whole dream! O.o
Haha. well, contemplate that one! :)

I Just...

I know.
Everything revolves around me.
That's why i thought sn was mad at me.
Because she wouldnt' tell me waht was wrong.
So i thought it was just me.
You dont' call either.
You know i don't do anything anymore.
I spent all last night babysitting
And it'll probably be the highlight of my week(end).
At least sn asked if i wanted to go bowling.

I really miss having someone to tell everything to.
But most of all?
I miss haveing someone to tell anything to.
My mom suggested i get a boyfriend because i never go anywhere anymore.
At least then i'd do stuff and see people.

I know what you mean now.
I see you book it out of band everyday and i just want to cry everytime.
I started to cry a little last week when you did it one time.
I miss just having someone to talk to.
To listen to.
I'd give anything to have something.
I like you guys a lot.
But. you're to busy being together for me to hang out sometimes.

When i was a child i was better than my sister.
She couldnt' be alone for a few hours but i could last weeks without seeing friends or hanging out with people.
Now i can't do this anymore.
I need people to be happy.
Being alone drives me nuts.
Everyone you see me talk to is an attempt to have friends.
They'll never call to hang out,
But you used to.
I just hate using past tense on a frienship.
I'd try to not be self-centered just for you.
Just to have a friend.
To talk to.
Instead of a computer screen..

Well.

I had supper with Ajz today.
SAN is talking to me again.
I don't feel like talking much...
What's the point anyway?

:/

My horiscope today:
You may feel a great deal of nervous energy today, Gemini. Tension could come to you from all angles. Indecisiveness might be your biggest problem. You may be in a frenzy trying to figure out where to move next. The key is to slow down and relax. Don't make a move without evaluating things. Be careful about acting too hastily, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.


Sarah didn't text me, call me, message me,
Or anything once during break.
She never invited me into D&D.
She never calls or asks me to hang out.
She barely talked to me.
And if it was anything it was obvious stuff.
Always looking to get away from me today.
To talk to anybody but me.
Then, she sees you at lunch and runs to you.
All day she's been saying she's sore from soccer.
She can barely sit but she runs to you.

Just about cried today.
I've never had a fight with her.
We've always been best friends.
What am i going to do if/when i lose her?
I hate this.
Nobody asked to hang out over break.
I spent New Years feeling like i was invading
On the one person who would take me in
So i wouldn't have to spend it alone.
It's not like i'm running off with a boy all the time.
I'm not even busy.
But nobody asks.
And people...walk away from me in the halls
When i talk to them.
People, talk to eachother around me.
I don't even know why i try any more...?
Nobody noticed my new hair today.
I mean, i did it the day after break started.
I just..i hate people being so two-faced to me.
You're friends with me until it's inconvenient for you.
Then i'm just that weird kid nobody likes.
And i hate it.
That's how i feel.
I'm loosing my best friend(s).
And nobody care.
Thanks.