Also...Pg-13 stuff xP

I'm just going to say it.
I don't see why sex is so big of a deal
When you're in high school.
I don't think of people differently if
They're had it a lot, a little, want it or not.
I just don't know why it's so big of a deal.
We're still so young we dont' even know what
We really want to do with our lives.
(Btw this is not some religous do good thing...
This is me and what i honestly think...)
It comes up a LOT in conversations, doesn't it?
Everyone talks about it.
Nearly everyone does it it seeems like.
I feel rather informed on the matter.
TV has taught me nothing.
It's not blissful and sweet.
It's apparently going to be painful (at first....)
And sweaty and awkward.
If i ever decide i ever want to have sex,
That person will be WAY more experience than i most likely.
Which will be weird.
It'll be me and my first time, but they'll know what to do.
And i'll be clueless.
It feels like if i DON'T start having sex in high school,
I'll be behind everyone else when i reach the
'Real World'.
Thankfully, my 'father' told me i'll die if i ever have sex.
Hahaha, but honestly i think i actaully would.
Even 'talking' about it, makes me almost cry.
From thinking of pain, and awkwardness.
It's very weird.
At one point, i wanted that boy, Nathaniel
SO BAD, i said i'd do 'anything' to have him.
I probably couldn't have done that.
As a freshman, especially.

So why did i just write a blog post on sex?
Because it's there.
Don't pretend you don't know it's not.
Everyone hears about who effed who at school.
Everyone hears who's a 'whore'.
Everyone knows someone who's done it.
Everyone knows someone who wants to.
Everyone knows it's right in front of our eyes.

I just...feel left out.
Not that i'd do it just to be included.
I want to wait until marriage.
Or at LEAST a solid engagement.
Because then i won't be drunk and tired
On my wedding night. :P
But. This is how i feel..