I didn't know.

Friday i was at play practice.
Some people where talking about
Mitch going to get something.....
And that's when i realized.
Nathaniel was in town.
Basically since i've gotten texting
We've been texting, but the past
Few weeks i had been busy so i didn't
Know he was coming home.
My first instinct was go run and give him
A really big hug.
Instead, i turned my face away hoping he
Didnt' see me.
I don't know why i did that.
I started to shake and sweat and i couldn't breathe.
Why were these things happening?
I was so confused.
He kept doing stuff but eventually i got to talk to him.
Everything i've been holding in for over two years.
I haven't seen him in over a year and a half.
It was so nice seeing him...i...just.........

That night i saw the variety show.
It was most excellent, but
Basketball boy was apparently having a party
After the show at his house.
Over ten people asked me if i was going to it.
So i went with a friend..
Only to find out it was (to my knowledge)
Rigged so it was just us.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. interesting.
It was slightly awkward but i got over it.
He IS awkward. xP
Which is why i'm not sure how much i really like him.
This all comes at a bad time.
Because as i previously noted, mitch was home.

The next morning was set constuction.
Mitch came to it and it was a good time.
I.......i..........i..........yeah.
This is why i waited so long to post this.
Everyone will be mad.
No one understands.
blah blah blah.
I don't know about Alex. He is new to me
And i can't figure him out at all.
I dreamed about mitch last night.
He dreamed about me.
I'm so confused right now.
Everytime i think 'this time.'
'This time when i see Alex, it will feel right'.
It never does.
I'm never comfortable around him.
But from what i hear EVERYWHERE else..
He's so into me.
He deserves a shot.
But....right now?
I can't stop thinking about mitch.
I find this to be the weirdest thing ever.
How is that even possible?
And...i...guess....
I just don't know. :/