GRR {Dream}

SOOOOO.
I was So over Fracking
_ _ _ _ _.
Then.
The other night.
I had a dream.
AJZ was coming home.
And he likes to speed.
So i dreamt that
He died going too fast
On the Snow and Ice.
I became really
Depressed.
And i went to school the
Next day.
And *b*slapped _ _ _ _ _
Across the face.
And yelled profanities at her
For 5 minutes.
Saying i didn't care anymore
Because he wasn't here.
And i came home and blogged.
Being super sad and depressed.
In essence: Super-sad-emo-depressive.
Saying my own sister didn't like him.
And one friend didn't like him because he
COLORED on her COLORING book page and wouldn't let it go.
I thought i was ok with _ _ _ _ _.
I thought my anger was gone.
Now, when i see her, my heart races.
I panic. i'm scared.
I want to cry in the corner.
I don't want this.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!??!

I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS.
I SWEAR, IF I COULD MAKE HER
NEVER EXIST, I WOULDN'T BE
SCREWED UP.
BUT I PROLLY STILL WOULD GET MAD AT SOMEONE.

...

...

My friends...don't hate me. [RAL]
Please..i never act.
I'm scared.
No one will protect me.
AJZ likes her.
She won't hurt me, i know.
But...what if i hurt her?
I won't, i swear.
But...i'm so scared.
I LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR.

...

...

Help me.

Save me.

Love me.

CARE