Well.

Just when i thought you didn't want be in your life.
Just when i thought you were over me and there was
NO hope at all for a friendship.
You went and did this.
I was babysitting, and all of a sudden,
A new text.
From Andrew.
Asking what was up.
Probably a mistake on his part.
I refused to stop texting him at all costs.
For the next three hours.
Until i was out of attempts to say.
Call me crazy.
He acted normal.
But normal to me for him is us dating.
Calling me cute.
And jokingly being flirtatious.
I...miss him.
Then i get on facebook, and all his statuses
Are songs about regreat, or lying that the person's ok.
Or thinking about pasts.
He keeps telling people he doesn't have a reason to
Come to Waverly anymore. I was always the reason.
It makes me happy. I...I'm still unsure of where i stand.
I love not having that relationship cloud over my head.
But, i miss having someone who i tell everything to.
How can i catch everyone up on the last 2 years of my life?
I can't.
I miss always having somewhere to go or someone to go with.
He was always there for me.
I understand he needs to freedom.
And it was a messed up realationship anyway.
I'm just trying to figure out where i stand.

As far as the Utah stalker kid.
He's good with his words.
Which is why texting is bad.
But, he's weird and nobody likes him.
Now, that was sorta the same with Andrew,
But Andrew wasn't AS weird. Trust me.
Glowsticks? Hairdo's? come on.
I was texting his older cousin
At the same time i was texting him.
I asked how the cousin figured out i had texting.
He said because he was with utah kid,
And all of a sudden, he goes
"Sweet! Carolyn texted me!"
So...that's that.:\

Then the next guy.
He's dated my friend.
And is again hitting on me.
He too is good with his words,
And is very sweet,
But i could never bring myself to being close to him.

Why do i do these things to myself?
I dont' want a relationship, but you know what?
I want BJS to talk to me.
He's who i really like.
Despite the fact it's been weeks since we've talked.
Longer since i've seen him.
Ugg. :\

People say my pretty face would get me anyone.
I just want you.
You're just a freakin college douche though.
And i'm sorta sad. And sorta over it.

But in reality,
I'm not over anything i just talked about.
Not in the least bit.
And these are the things that keep me up at night.
AFTER full nights of events.
These are what keep my brain so tired.
Cada. Dia. :\