A Day in the Life

I run, hide, and bump into painful things to avoid you.
You're nice sometiems.
Other's you're creepy.
I don't konw how to feel.
Everyone is yelling at me to stop talking to you.
But you have no friends.
And i'm trying to be nice.

I walk past you like i don't know you.
Is this really what you wanted?
Well i can't do anything right now anyway.
I have zero free time.
Can we hang out sometime though?
I miss you and i think we should.
Musical raped me in so many ways,
But it's tonight, tomorrow, and sunday.
You should 1) Come
And 2) Hang out with me sometime this coming week
Since i won't be busy anymore. :)
PS: Sorry... <3

MUSICAL IS TONIGHT!
I love being a ninja,
But i'll miss it dearly.
And seeing some lovely people
I raraly talk to every day. :)
And cute little freshmen are nice. :D

Guys need to stop being so nice to me.
Then again, maybe i should stop
'Drawing attention to myself'. :\
This is who i am? Why does my personality
Fuck me up every day?
Why can't i ever be a normal girl?
I just hate all of this.
I try to be me but i end up pissing of everyone.

I'm so done with guys.
The one a like must have forgotten i existed.
The other one is frowned apon.
And others are just too creepy.
Oh, did i mention that just because guys like me
(Who, might i add, are all sorta weird)
One of my friends is mad at me?
Sorry that i attract the weird ones.
Sorry i never get what i want either but i end
Up looking like a spoiled brat anyway.
And who am i, anyway?
Who is this person i pretend to be everyday?
The facade i so eagerly fall into?
Happy, and nice?
I'm a stuck up drama queen and a bitch.
I don't know who i am.
I have to real friends i tell everything too.
The only ones i thought i had are leaving me.
And these new ones don't have time for me.
No one cares for real. No ones wants to hang out.
I throw parties but am the awkward kid in the corner.
Stop dictating my life. You don't know me.
Truth is? I don't know me.

I'm way to tired to care, and way to sad to care.
I just can't seem to be perfect for anybody.
Here i am thinking we're friends,
Then you go an insult me but think
I already knew i was this way.
I didn't. it hurts.
Thanks for pointing out my flaws.

And don't even get me started on just WHO i like.
Cuz everyone would raise hell.
I can't do anything right.
I just hide behind my happy mask when you ask
"Are you ok?"
I saw first hand today i'm not.
I blew up infront of the whole class
Over something so small.

I hate going to school.
I have to avoid people.
Not be a bitch.
I don't think before i do anything
And it always ends badly.
I piss off people,
And say the stupidest shit ever.
I embarass myself constantly,
And i'm overall too nice somehow
On top of this, to turn down a guy.
He's nice, but everyone says to back off.
I just, hate all these things.

And you'll all ask if i'm ok after reading this.
And i'll saw i'm fine.
And you'll ask who i like and we'll
Have playful banter and i'll be 'happy'.
And you'll assume i'm fine and life will go on.
As it should.
Infact, in an hour i'll be happily with be friends
At the musical. I'm so fake.
I freakin hate myself.
I'm so vain.
I think i'm the shit.
I'm so not. i should just stop trying.
In everything.
Nothings working out.
And yes, this is be being a giant queen bitch
Drama Queen.
So everyone who actaully read this can konw that i'm actally
Fine. This is just how i get my 'attention'.
I'm sorry i wasted your time.
I'll stop whinning now and go be productive.
Because venting this way makes me happy.
Yes, being a bitch makes me happy.
So whatever if you don't think this is sound logic.
I'm fine now.
And i know you're confused.
But my head works 100 x faster than my fingers.
I've already sorted todays problems out while writing this.
So, thanks blogger. For being there for me when i needed something
To listen to me vent.
Goodnight, and please come to the muscial this weekend! <3