Idk..

I miss it.
Our relationship.
It was perfect.
He'd do anything for me.
Drive anywhere to get me,
Buy me food and gifts.
He always wanted to hang out.
Spent so much money one me.
The only problem is he wasn't perfect.
I still might believe he was perfect for me
But he was not a very good person.
I just put blinders on.
Blinders of love.

I don't really like a specific guy either.
I'm so wishywashy right now.
I got yelled at for THINKING of sending a text.
To levi.
He said he was going back to Utah forever.
So i wanted to text him and say i liked him.
SAN thought it was mean and is still mad about it.
Good thing i didn't send it
And for the record i wouldn't, either.
But he's back. His parents re-kicked him out.
He's moved on so it wasn't bad anyway.
Whatever.

I'm in an irritable mood again.
Not sure.
I just. Now that i'm not with Ajz 24/7
I need my friends.
But nobody ever can hang out. or wants to.
And i just want to hang out with everyone.
But i can feel friendship circles changing too.
My best friend for years is getting mad at me a lot.
Is it because guys like me and i turn them down
Or pretend to mess with them?
Because i'm not mean and i'm not a whore.
This is who i am.
Sorry i'm not good enough all of a sudden.

And.
That's how i feel right now. :\