I don't.

Yeah. So Nathaniel asked me to hang out.
All these years, and i don't want it.
I don't like him anymore.
He's bad news bears.
All i ever try to do is cheer him up.
Somewhere i hope i didn't cross the line.
I don't want him to like like me.
And i just wouldn't want to see him in person.
It's be awkward.
For one, we only text.
For two, it would be a weird occasion anyway.

As for Ajz.
I thought i was over that.
I thought maybe i just wanted to protect him.
But last night i accidentally clicked on my photos
On my ipod.
I haven't cried in so long...
But last night i did.

I don't know how i feel about anything.
And on top of that, nobody asks to hang out anymore.
You at least get to see SN.
You at least got asked to be in D&D.
I didn't.
And i still don't know why not.

I wish it was simplier.
When i had ajz.
Then i remember.
I was just looking past the bad.

Why don't people make plans?
Everyone talks big,
But nobody follows through.
Why can't i be like when we were kids.
And the whole conversation is us
Talking to each other and our mothers.
Then letting out mothers talk to finalize plans.
Oh, nastalgia....