I've become someone.

I don't make my bed anymore.
This feels....monumentious.
I feel like a teenager.
It's..grr.
Tonight i took a drive.
But just any drive.
I was coming home.
But i didn't turn onto Garden Av.
I slowed...saw my parents were home...
And it was only 7:45 and i'd been with family all weekend...
And kept driving.
At first, i was SCARED.
Where was i going to turn around at?
I drove all the way to bremer.
Around a GIANT curve.
I was trying to remember how to get home..
I took a left in bremer and headed home.
But...when i was almost home i remembered.
If i turned into the drive from the opp direction,
They'd wonder where i was.
So i took a turn and went past the new catholic church
And into town.
Then into Lovers Lane,
Up a giant hill, and home.
It was a half an hour drive.
And it did clear my mind a little.
I realized everything.
No, like EVERYTHING
Reminds me of Andrew in this town.
Everywhere, everything has a memory.
And i know i can't take him back.
And i know he won't take me back.
But over two months later and i still miss it.
I miss having it.
The love. the person. the little things you do. always having someone who knows you. someone to share everything with. someone who loves you. someone to watch out for you. someone to help and understand. someone to be with. someone who you are yourself with....i miss that.
I almost miss Andrew.
But..it makes me lonely.
I haven't seen friends all weekend... :/
That's why i hung out with him so much.
No body wanted to see ME.
I saw him at the meet.
He was working,
But after i got a hug and we talked for a while.
I...asked him if he wanted to hang out.
*small awkward silence*
I get off after the meet's over.
But i suggested maybe during break....
I mean..if nobody else suggests i'll ask him again.
And we'll see where that goes...